The HSP World Podcast Ep. 18: How HSPs Can Attract HSP Supportive Relationships

Thomas: Hi and welcome to The HSP World podcast. With each episode, we invite a guest with the HSP trait to have a conversation about a burning HSP-related question they have. We’re not coaches or therapists. We’re HSPs holding space with you. I’m one of your hosts, Thomas and your other hosts are; 

Robyn: Robyn. 

Rayne: and Rayne. 

Robyn: So welcome back everybody to The HSP World podcast. And today we have something very special, a host only episode in which we’ll be discussing a topic near and dear to a lot of HSPs.

That is how to attract more HSP supportive people in our lives. It’s a topic that’s actually already come up in some of our previous episodes. So that’s why we decided to dedicate an entire episode to at this time. So what we mean by HSP supportive, is not necessarily other HSPs or even someone who knows the term, but someone who seems to get the various aspects of the highly sensitive trait, and who tries to understand, respect and even embrace it.

We wanted to know what techniques our listeners have tried for attracting more HSP supportive people in their lives. So we asked Shannon, our Social Media Manager to put that question out on our social media channels. And here are a couple of the responses that we received.

Thomas: So a number of the responses that came back were around finding people where you share interests. So things like, Reiki courses, artistic or creative activities, like cooking classes or music or drawing, things like that. 

Rayne: Yeah. And there were also shared interests, like the personality types, INFJ, INFP, empaths, multipotentialite, which might sound like a new word. It was new word to me, I’d never heard of before until about four months ago, so that again, that word was multipotentialite and gifted. 

Robyn: Another response that  a few people put was that they met HSPs in meetup groups, I guess either centered around the interests we just mentioned or the profiles.  We do want to mention one thing though.

Just a little word to the wise here. So in some of the groups that you might find, whether it’s on online or an in-person meetup group,  You may notice that some of the members in there are  actually, I think Thomas, you had a good way of putting it.  You were saying that some of them seem to exude struggle. Yeah. Do you want to, do you want to comment on that? 

Thomas: Well, I’ve noticed in my interactions with various groups  that some groups sort of emphasize the struggle aspect of whatever the, you know, the group is about, rather than  the good parts the, the joyful parts, the parts,  that, um, how can I say it? 

Rayne: Spark joy. 

Thomas: Yeah.  Right! I mean,  other groups, the people, when they get together, they’re, they’re joyful and their focus is on the joy that they’re bringing to the world. And also the joy of who they are. That’s what I meant by that. You know, some people focus on their struggles and other people focus on what they can bring to the world. So I guess that’s what I meant by that. 

Robyn: Yeah. But yeah, that’s a great point because you know, these few areas or ways that we’ve mentioned to meet HSP supportive people, is I think they’re definitely great ideas as long as you pay attention to the quality of energy that’s coming out.

And ironically sometimes when people are looking for support, depending where they’re at in their personal development and their own journey, they may not actually be in a place where they’re able to connect constructively with someone else. They may just be dealing with too much of their own pain and, and limiting beliefs and stuff like that. So, so again, I think they’re great resources, just, you know, keep an eye open for the kinds of energy that comes back to you.

Rayne: Yeah. Great. Really well put, well you guys. Yeah. and we wanted to bring up… Shannon our Social Media Manager. She also wrote a blog post recently called, Do Highly Sensitive Struggle More With Friendships? And that’s on our website, so you can find it there.  And she kind of highlights four main reasons that HSPs may struggle more with friendships. And the first one is high expectations.

So this is pretty big one for HSPs because we tend to have really high expectations for ourselves. 

Robyn: Without realizing it.

Rayne: Without realizing it. Yeah. And almost, you know, I don’t know you guys, it feels to me like that part of that has something to do with, you know, knowing that you’re different, at a young age and, observing , because HSPs are very good at observing how others are acting and then, you know, trying to behave in the same way.

And, you know, because we’re, we’re taught  fitting in is like the, you know, a really big deal. And you know, because we’re taking in so much from our environment, it’s, it’s not feasible for us to behave, you know, to live our life as a non-HSP so we can get, quite tired and different things like that.

So we can have these high expectations that we should be able to live our life like a non-HSP, you know? And so I think that’s where those high expectations come in there. So, being compassionate with ourselves and doing things that are good for ourselves, you know, good for conserving our own energy and, you know, doing things that, that help us essentially.

And actually she, she worded it really, really well. We have to learn to balance our expectations of ourselves and others and be sure we have not created impossible expectations to meet. So I thought that was a really, really good point. 

And, so the second one was weak boundaries, so, and that is another one that HSPs can struggle with.

So essentially, I mean, boundaries that that’s a whole, that’s a whole topic unto itself. Um, but making self-care a priority and turning down invitations,  when you need to,  if you’re invited out somewhere. You know, Finding out kind of a little bit more information, like, you know, what’s it going to be like, cause you don’t get it going to be a lot of loud noises um, tons of people, all that kind of thing. And then just being realistic with how much you think you can handle, and we talked about the difference between an introvert hangover and an HSP hangover the next day. So setting strong boundaries was another, another good point.

And Thomas, you were going to talk about the other two points she had, right? 

Thomas: Yeah. So the next point that she pointed out was overthinking and, and this one I absolutely relate to, I’m sure you do too. And this has to do with, you know, when you’re with someone and you have a conversation, let’s say just, you know, as an example, and then later on you think of like, did I say the right thing and did I, you know, what did I make the right point? Or did I forget something? Or you know, the one that, that gets me a lot is like, did I offend that person?

Right?  And there’s also an aspect of overthinking, like before interacting with a friend or before interacting with someone is like, am I going to say the right thing? You know, it’s like you go through  this inner dialogue, which is basically just previewing what might happen and then when it’s done and then it’s over then, like doing  an analysis of what you did.  

And so this reminds me of a wonderful book that I read once called Improv Wisdom. And one of  the guideposts was be average. In other words, don’t, you know, it’s the same with the high expectations, right?

Don’t overthink it too much.  Just allow yourself to be average, allow yourself to be human really is what it’s about. 

Robyn: At least sometimes I think it’s okay. And that’s part of boundaries, right? Like what you can set boundaries on your own mind. Right?

Uh, and I think there’s moments where it’s important to say, okay, no, this is something that’s really a core value and I’m really gonna fight for this thing. But if you’re doing it for everything and  you know, no, no one, no one can be no one can be fighting every battle. Right.

So it is about picking your battles even within your own brain and saying like, okay, this is something I’m going to scale back on. And I’m going to let that slide. Someone made a weird face in reaction to my comment. Okay. Whatever. You know, for example, like I don’t, I don’t really get too caught up by people’s faces anymore sometimes, but it’s not like I used to.

So. Anyway.

Thomas: And that, that goes into the, into the, the last point, which is about letting go.  You have to, you know, make a decision, like, okay, I’m going to let that go. That, you know, this person came to me and said something. It may have impacted me in some way.

It may have caused certain feelings, but in the bigger picture, it’s really a small thing and I’m just going to let it go. So letting go it’s something that I have to, I have to decide. Right? I have to say, you know, these are the type of things that I’m going to let go when this person comes to me and does this.

You know, it can sound like, like excusing bad behavior or  whatever.  So I’m not suggesting that, I’m just suggesting that, there’s some things that  you can practice, you can train yourself to say, okay. I’m not going to, I’m not going to overthink that I’m not going to go  and stay focused on that because there are, you know, there’s other things to be focused on.

Rayne: Yeah. And I think for me too, letting go is, it can actually, relate to the relationship itself, you know, sort of like that, some relationships are for now and, you know, all relationships aren’t forever.  Cause I don’t know if you guys have noticed this, but I know for me sometimes,  you know, I’ll see someone that I haven’t seen for,  like whatever 15 years or something.

And it’s so odd because they see me and treat me as the person I was 15 years ago. It’s like, um, yeah, I’m not that person anymore. So I can’t really relate to what you’re saying. You know? Like, so I think that’s, it’s important too, to recognize when it’s okay to let go of some relationships, because it’s sort of like,  When we let go of relationships that, you know there, um, you know, it’s just their, their time has come.

Then we allow space and room for other relationships that are meant for us going forward. So, you know, and with that comes a process because HSPs are, are, you know, they’re, um, they feel deeply, you know, they they’re, they feel their emotions deeply and letting go is a process, you know, I don’t know if you guys have, but it’s like, I’ll think about all of the things I’ve done with that person.

And, you know, all the, you know, just interesting things I learned from them and, and things like that. And so it’s a process. Um, that it’s okay to go through as a, as a way of letting go. Cause it’s basically like a grieving process, right? Yeah. 

Because you know, HSPs are tend to have deeper, you know, deeper emotions, you know, so it’s, you know, it’s not like, Oh yeah, yeah, Oh yeah. I knew that person. That’s that. Just doesn’t that’s that’s not a typical, HSP um, uh, way they go about things. 

So it’s okay to go through that process and for it to take a certain amount of time.  So yeah, I just, I thought that was a good one to bring up too.

Thomas: I think there’s also something there to recognize in that is, is that, um, we, you know, we all, as people, as, as human beings, we all grow at a different rate. Some people are not growing and, and other people are growing and changing quite a bit.

So that’s something just to keep in mind. It’s like, okay, that person over there might be changing quite a bit. And, the relationship may not make sense anymore. And it’s the same, you know, from my perspective, I’m growing  and maybe the other person is, is not growing.

So  just something to keep in mind is, is everybody grows inside  at a different pace. Yeah. 

Robyn: Yeah. You know, as I’m looking over this list of the reasons, why a HSPs may struggle with friendships and close relationships, I think, I think it really comes out of this, um, heightened need for depth and deep connection, which all people have and need, but is that much more pronounced in HSPs.

And I think also given the reality of the kind of societies that we live in, where, you know, the opportunity for deep connection is maybe more limited compared to other types of society or culture that exist or have existed. Um, and often HSPs are like the canaries in the coal mine.

They’re the ones who first like, say, Hey, wait, something’s missing. Right. So I think that the need for connection that all people have and that is sometimes difficult in the kind of western societies that should speak way too broadly, but you know, the kind of societies that the three of us were living in.

I think, yeah, I think that’s what, what we’re experiencing is that huh, there’s this really deep or this craving for a very deep connection and it, it translates into high expectations, and willingness to forego our own boundaries, and overthinking, and having a hard time letting go. And I think the more you can acknowledge that it comes from a very human and, and kind of nice, noble need, you know, it was nothing sinister or unhealthy about craving deep connection.

I think when you recognize that it comes from a, uh, a real, honest, and even positive place. Um, and then maybe it makes it a little bit easier to say, okay, what can I do to lighten the load a bit? You know? I mean, please, if you haven’t seen Shannon’s posts, please go do it.

Please go have a look at that.  But what’s coming to me right now, looking at this list, if I think of, okay, what could we do to, what would be the opposite of that would be, you know, getting some perspective on our expectations, practicing how to set healthy boundaries with other people, and also with our own thought processes.

And then learning how to grieve when things are not as we would like them to be, or when people have disappointed us or life has disappointed us. And  learning how to let go of certain things. 

Thomas: Yeah. We’ll put a link  to Shannon’s article  in the show notes.  If you go to, the article is titled, Do Highly Sensitives Struggle More With Friendships? That’s what you need to be looking for.  

Robyn: Uh, it, it’s funny. It’s uh, I think we remarked on this earlier, but, it’s one of the most common topics that I see circulating again and again, in the HSP Facebook groups, every once in a while, maybe like every month someone will say, Hey guys, does anyone else struggle with friendships?

Which is kind of funny, but I, you know, I’m, I am glad that we’re talking about  how we can create these more sensitive, supportive relationships.  And again, just to reiterate, we’re not necessarily talking about romantic relationships. That that’s definitely one example of where I would hope an HSP could seek support for their sensitivity, in a romantic relationship if they have one.

But I think you can, you can apply this lens to any kind of relationship, uh, you know, do your friendships support this?  Family’s maybe a bit harder cause we don’t choose our family, but maybe just asking like, okay, which of, which of my family members are supportive of my sensitivity, which ones are not.  And even professional relationships, right?

Because they, there can definitely, you can definitely have HSP supportive professional relationships and HSP non-supportive, non-understanding,  professional relationships.  

Actually Rayne, do you want to read some of the benefits? 

Rayne: Yeah. So the, the one I noticed the most is huge mental health benefits.

Robyn: Yeah. 

Rayne: Because there’s just, there’s just something so validating about being able to express how you’re feeling, or what your thoughts are, and for the other person to just listen.  Just listen and be okay with listening and be able to hold space with you there.

And then if you’re looking for solutions, you know, because sometimes it’s just a matter of  talking about it with a good friend is, you know, that in itself can help you process those emotions. So yeah, absolutely huge mental health benefits, the deep connection and not feeling weird or alone, um, uh, not knowing who to go to for support and validation.

Robyn: Yeah. If you have people, if you have people around you who. Well, this has happened to me.  Sometimes I haven’t been accepting my sensitivity or I’ve been feeling weird and another person mirrored back to me. No, that’s not weird. No, it’s okay. Or actually I get why you would feel that way or why you see things that way.

And I think this is, this is really something so nice to have, right? Because a lot of HSPs have been, have had these views imposed on them from, from the time they were very young that, Oh, the way that you think and feel is a problem or, or is kind of odd, you know, odd at best and problematic at worst.

So, so, you know, it’s really, you can break that pattern. And start moving toward, if you are struggling with self acceptance, you can break that pattern, and start moving towards better accepting this part of yourself when there are other people around you, if you find those other people, and sometimes they say it only takes one, right?

Like it only takes one person who really sees you and really like upsets the pattern of rejection. One person who says, Oh, that’s not odd. That’s okay. You know, or, Oh, that makes that make sense to me, it feels so good. 

Thomas: It feels so good when someone says I get you. Yeah, totally get it. Yeah. Yeah. 

Robyn: And then, you know, like once you, the more you cultivate that, the more you have that as a coping mechanism, right.

That okay. When I need support, I’m going to go see that person or what, hopefully eventually you have multiple and you say, okay, I know this person is going to understand, and this person’s going to understand, and then you don’t need a million friends. You don’t. I mean, no one has really a million friends.

No one has as many Facebook friends as they think they do. But, you know,  just having a couple of people who really truly get what you’re about,  knowing that they’re there. I mean, that, that really does wonders. 

Rayne: Yeah, absolutely. And you’re appreciated for who you are and that’s a wonderful feeling and being able to, you know, everything’s, you know, it’s give and take, you know, so doing the same for the other person as well as is, is important too.

Robyn: It’s funny because I think some people might be listening and going, huh? Well, isn’t that just what a friend is? Isn’t that just the basics of friendship, but I think for certainly not for every HSP, but I think for many HSPs it’s not the status quo. The status quo is more, you’re picking up on things or you’re expressing certain things and other people are going, that’s weird, or I don’t get you, or Ew! Even feel various forms of like, just not understanding or, or even actively rejecting. 

Thomas: Yeah. Like, Oh, whatever. No, no. Yeah. I’ve experienced that. Yeah. 

Rayne: You got to take, you know, it does take a little bit of courage, because, you know, at some point you have to set standards for yourself too, you know, and just  because of what the norm is, doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s going to work for you and then that’s okay too.

That’s okay, too, because, you know, high quality people are, are, they’re not around every, you know, they’re not everywhere. 

So it’s really a blessing and something to be really grateful for when you do meet and know and develop a friendship with someone.  And,  it’s a supportive of your, your trait and your sensitivities, and vice versa, uh, you know, it’s a really special bond.

So, so yeah, I definitely think it’s something to, to, um, to have a standard for, you know? 

Robyn:  Yeah. And it becomes, you know, this positive feedback loop because the more. You know, if, if, if you feel like, well, okay, it’s not all about me. Fine. It’s not about you, but the more you, it’s not only about you, but the more you center yourself and are able to surround yourself with supportive people, the more you’re going to be able to give back to other people.

You know, like I’ve, I have now been able to do that for a couple of people who would express things that I thought were expressions with their sensitivity. And at this point I was like, okay, wait, I know what this is like. I have an idea of… I’m certainly not saying that I always get it right.

But there’s been a couple of moments where I’ve like, had a mental thought, a moment where I said, okay, I have to make space to let this person air their sensitivity and make it very clear to them that I totally get that. And I don’t find anything odd about that.

Uh, something else that we had mentioned as possible way to, um, not necessarily find more,  HSP-friendly people in your network in a literal sense, but something that might kind of metaphorically expand your circle.  I know some people will do this.

They’ll look for heroes or role models. Um, and they’ll do this, you know, with famous people who are alive now or throughout history, people who maybe weren’t… you know, the, the term HSP is very recent, so maybe it wasn’t applied to them. But when you look at the way that they’ve acted, or you look at the things that they’ve said, you can say, okay, yeah, this is probably a person who showed a lot of sensitivity.

So, you know, often examples would be Martin Luther King or Gandhi.  We know that Alanis Morissette has actually gone on record, the singer Alanis Morissette has gone on record to say that, um, she identifies as an HSP. Many artists, many singers, actors, identify as highly sensitive.  

The other thing I like to, every time I come across a character in a work of fiction, who is demonstrably sensitive or even where their sensitivity is part of the, um, the story? I always, I dunno, I’m always a little bit tickled by that.

Um, and I’ll give you an example, actually. I’m sure a lot of you have seen The Crown. Okay. And with the work of semi fiction, right. It’s loosely based on the real lives of, the British Royal family. But in the seasons where they’re talking about, Prince Charles, as a young adult, there are many more, and the child as well, many moments where he’s portrayed as a highly sensitive man and where his sensitivity is kind of called into question as a problem.

So I don’t know if, if you could walk away from the saying like, okay, he’s a role model, but, you can see that you can see that there’s an attempt on the part of the show creators to delve into the question of what must this person have been going through as a highly sensitive man, what must he had been going through?  You know, in this, this very rigid pressure some situation, surrounded by people who wanted him to be anything but sensitive, you know? And as an HSP, I was like, wow, I love that this is like a topic in popular media.

Wow. You know, even if no one’s coming out and saying the words like it’s so cool that this is… People are talking about this. 

Thomas: You know, you mentioned Alanis Morissette, and there are a number of articles and also podcasts where she talks about how she identifies with the HSP trait.  So in her case specifically, you can actually  listen to her speak about it. So, um, there’s another  source that you can use to, to sort of identify with.

Rayne: Yeah. And I think it’s important to, in order to kind of note that, you know, HSPs, you know, our sensitivities are all different.  You know, it’s, it’s, uh, having the trait, uh, it’s on a spectrum. So, you know, I think that’s something to keep in mind that while, while I, I really like, you know figures like Gandhi and,  you know, people like that.

I think it’s important to recognize, for me and accept that,  you know, it’s okay to forge your own path. 

Robyn: Absolutely. 

Rayne: That’s what being a human being is, is we’re all different, you know? And, and that’s  wonderful, you know?  It’s okay to look at different for me to look at the different traits, you know, things that I admire about them, but also understanding that,  it’s not about copying, I guess, is what I’m trying to say. It’s not about trying to copy or be that person or whatever it is, it’s about, You know, just being, you, just being, you, being okay with being you know?

Robyn: Yeah, that’s a super important point and I’m glad that you brought that up, right.  To not go too far,  with seeking role models.  Well, yeah and again, the idea is not, yeah, the idea is not to try to copy other people. The idea is to try to expand your circle in your network, whether it’s your literal network or even just your imagined network. Right. Just it’s it’s just to create that little ring of solidarity, that circle of solidarity. 

I know for some people and a lot of introverts that, your  favorite fictional characters can sometimes feel like friends.

Almost right? And it’s representation too. Right?  There is a certain power,  in seeing yourself or people similar to you represented in popular culture. It’s it has a normalizing effect as well. So, yeah, so I agree. I wouldn’t,  try to copy someone to the letter, but I think it is helpful to know that there are other HSP figures out there, even in a very public way.

Rayne: Yeah. you know, it’s funny because, the movie or the series you mentioned I’m not familiar with, but  the movie I watched just a little while ago, the Queens Gambit, she, she definitely, the main character, she definitely came across to me as an HSP. Um, just how she processed information, how she visualized the chess pieces, you know, up in the air and, you know, working them around, that kind of thing.

And she, there was a whole bunch of different circumstances. She, you know, navigated, so yeah, and it was all the more interesting because of that, you know?

Robyn: Right. Yeah. Cool.

Thomas: I want to relate something,  along the same lines  In terms of,  sensitivity and growth. and you mentioned introversion as well.  And that is,  when I met my wife, which is many, many years ago, one of the reasons that I was so attracted to her is because she, in some ways was very opposite from me.

I, at the time, had a great deal of difficulty expressing my emotions. I just, I didn’t even have the language to express my emotions.  And when I met her, I mean, you know, one of the things that I noticed about her is that if she had a thought or an emotion or a feeling, she would just express it right away.

And now she’s also an extrovert I’m, I was very much an introvert.  One of the things that, that I started thinking about  when I first met her, like, there is a role model in a way, right in front of me, here’s someone who has no difficulty expressing what they’re feeling.

And I think, you know, I do think this, this goes  for many  highly sensitive males.  You know, we grow up in a society that, uh, that tells us to, to squelch our emotions, to, you know, not speak about our feelings, to, you know, tough it up and all that stuff. And that’s certainly the environment that I grew up in.

In my case it was also cultural. My parents are immigrants  and they came over when I was very young and they had a particular way of being where, I would, I would express emotion  as a kid, as a young child, like four or five, six year old, I would say something.

And they would immediately say, no, no, no, that’s not right. You need to, you know, you need to think this way, you need to feel that way.  

I was sensitive. And so what I was learning as a young child was to basically shut up to not say anything. Now that I look back at it,  I can see that from, you know, the time that I was about six or seven years old, and I actually remember making a decision about that young of an age.

I, I made a conscious decision, you know, I’m gonna, I’m not gonna say anything. I’m not going to, I’m not going to talk about what my feelings are. I can actually remember that. Yeah. And so from about six to seven, until I was, going to college, I basically missed out on learning how to express. Right? 

Rayne: Your emotions. 

Thomas: Yeah. Learning how to express my emotions. So by the time that I met my girlfriend at the time, who’s now my wife, it was a great struggle.  It was a tremendous struggle because, you know, she would, she would be with me and she says, well, why can’t you tell me what’s up?

And I, and I would tell her, I don’t know why I can’t tell you. And now that I thought about it, I know that the reason, I couldn’t say anything was because I hadn’t developed the language, from six or seven years old to, you know, 1920, I wasn’t practicing, expressing at all.

So in that sense, of course, I’m very lucky that she, you know, she stuck with me and, and was willing to help me learn to express my emotions.  But it was a long, it was a very long road. And, you know, I didn’t even start feeling comfortable with myself and, and expressing until I was about 30 years, you know?

Yeah. But I just wanted to sort of bring that up as like, there was something there that I saw in her that had to do with the ease that she had and expressing herself.  And so sometimes as sensitive people we might find an opposite attractive for that very reason. Yeah. 

Robyn: Yeah. I would say as long as there is enough understanding on the part of that other person, that we’re different and it’s okay.

Because some people might be opposite and then expect you to gravitate towards their way of being. But if someone really is respectful of and accepting of you as you are. Yeah, of course, there’s always going to be exchange and inspiration and learning from each other. And it’s one thing to learn the skill of, how do I express myself more from a more expressive, outgoing person?

And it’s an entirely different thing to say, okay, I’m going to try to be less sensitive. Right? But in this case, it sounds like you found someone who  was happy to help you develop that skill while not expecting that or requiring that you would need to change your, your core part of your personality.

I think it’s also good to, I mean, thank you for sharing that. And I think it’s good to bring up  the fact that we did hear from a few men actually, in response to Shannon’s call-out on this topic and a couple have said, you know, it’s hard for me to meet other men who are highly sensitive.

I think a lot of people just don’t want to accept or admit that they’re HSP or have any sense that they, they are because you’re, it’s not really encouraged in men, in a lot of cultures. What, one, one, uh, HSP named Jim actually shared  the comment that,  “I seem to come across HSP males that I relate to at live music shows where the music involves lots of intricacies and subtleties that most people would overlook.”

So that’s a, that’s his tip. But I think another tip for if I think of,  many of the male HSP friends that I have, I think another thing that many of them do is get female friends. Um, whether or not they’re HSP are just, you know, more permitted by the culture to express themselves and to display sensitivity. Yeah. And don’t find it necessary, may not find it odd that a man would express that. So I think, I think a lot of times people do that. 

Thomas: I definitely relate to that. The vast bulk of my closer friendships are women.  And interestingly the close relationship that I have with another man, he, it turns out that he is a physician and he, you know, what he does in life is is help other people, you know, as a, as a medical provider, he, he, uh, he has this natural way, you know, they call a good bedside manner for a doctor. He really does. He’s just so, so open and so empathetic.  Being a doctor is like perfect for him, but it also means that I, I’m able to relate to him. And in a much deeper way than most other guys. 

Rayne: Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense, hey? 

Robyn: Well, I think we’re going to wrap up soon. I just wanted to highlight a couple of responses that we received that I feel like really reflect a lot of what we’ve been talking about. How, you know, taking it slow, trying to respect your boundaries. Keeping your expectations in check. I think, their, their answers really reflect this.

So I’m going to share them with you.  So one person just mentioned, you know, the way I found  HSP supportive people was by being my authentic self. One spotted and recognized me. And with another one, it seemed like we bonded over sensitivities and have been friends for 21 years and counting.

And then,  there was another comment from a Michael who said, when I think that an individual might be an HSP, I start to let my guard down and began to talk in “our language”. If they are an HSP as well, they’ll see it right away. And whether or not they reciprocate is up to them, right?

Thomas: Awesome. Yeah. 

Rayne: I like that. Nice and open and accepting. 

Robyn: Yup. Um, keeping your, keeping your expectations in check, but also leaving room for the other person to show up as they are. And, uh, starting from who you authentically are as well. 

Thomas: You know, we live in a, in a wonderful time, more and more people are learning about the HSP Trait and they’re learning about how to be highly sensitive and accept that.  And think of it  as a wonderful thing to have.  And so we’re just more and more likely to be meeting other sensitive people. In the world. So…

Rayne: Which is cool. 

Robyn: Well, I think, I think everyone is a little more sensitive these days, everything going on. So I think if you’re, if you’re looking for people to support your sensitivity, I think, uh, the probability is a little bit higher now than it may have been in the past. 

Rayne: I agree. Yeah. I agree. 

Robyn: Well, thanks everybody. Thank you Rayne and Thomas for today’s conversation and to those who responded on our social media posts.

Thanks to our listeners, of course, as well. And I hope you’ll join us for our next episode where we’ll be having another interesting HSP conversation. And to any highly sensitive who have a burning HSP-related question, big or small, we invite you to ask it on the HSP world podcast. Just email

And a friendly reminder to visit the HSP World website at

Music credit: Intro and Outro music from the YouTube Music Library. Song is Clover 3.

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