An HSP on Having the Trait by Shannon Garza

An HSP on Having the Trait

In my personal research over the past four years I’ve come across many types of HSPs.

But the one thing that comes to mind is the HSP who isn’t really fond of their sensitivity.

Now, it seems the majority of us in the sensitive community consider our sensitivity to be a gift. And it is. We use it to help us navigate our way through this constantly evolving world. It’s a guide.

Our sensitivity helps us to see things so much deeper, to feel things intensely. We are more aware of our surroundings. This makes us a better judge of things and helps us to make sound choices.

We have a very active nervous system. It is finely tuned. We are sensitive to the things and people around us. Our sense of awareness is heightened. We can feel your energy and the energy of those near to us, either in proximity or emotionally.

We are known to be helpers or healers. Our intuitive skills are sharp and are used to help guide ourselves and others to a better path.

We are often doctors, therapists, coaches, religious or spiritual leaders and more, professions of the helping nature. We strive to use our sensitivity to be better, to be a better person and to offer better help to others. We have big hearts.

Even though there is so much good and beauty in being an HSP, for some of us it is a painful thing. It isolates us. It closes us off to the world and to people. We tend to stay home in our safe space to prevent overwhelm.

It has caused much trouble and heartache for some of us. If you had a highly stressful or abusive life, then this is amplified. It’s not biased. The bad is present just as the good is. Sometimes the bad outweighs the good. Sometimes the pain doesn’t seem worth the “gift”.

Then there’s the stigma. So many HSPs, especially men, have been told to “toughen up” or “don’t be so sensitive”. Their sensitivity is seen as a weakness, something to “fix”.

Cultural norms that have been passed down make it difficult for Highly Sensitive Men to learn about, come to terms with, and then be open and honest about their sensitivity.

This stigma affects both men and women. It’s another reason why we may struggle to accept our sensitivity.

We don’t mope about it but it is painful. It’s harder for some of us to accept and let it exist alongside of us but we do our best to cope with it. We try our best to understand and see the beauty within it and sometimes we can but it doesn’t change the fact that some of us out there just wish we never had this trait.

Sometimes that feeling is temporary but for some, we have disliked this trait from the day we understood what it meant for us. Sometimes it’s just too much to handle.

However, for some of us, we are learning how to live with it and how to use it to better our life. To make it work for us rather than against us.

For some HSPs the acceptance of the trait is almost immediate but for others it could take years of positive work to come to accept it. We are learning boundaries which helps immensely. And most importantly we are learning to love ourselves as we are, to accept all that we are.

I won’t lie, there is still some part of me that wishes I wasn’t a sensitive, but the beauty of this gift is hard to deny. I wouldn’t have been able to help so many people if I didn’t have this trait.

So if you are an HSP who isn’t fond of your sensitivity, I acknowledge you and I hear you. I understand completely.

How about you, how do you feel about having this trait?


Pic credit via EliasSch


Shannon is a Highly Sensitive Person and an Introvert. She is a coach for Highly Sensitive People. She is an advocate for breaking the stigma on mental health. She loves laughter, kittens and helping people live their best lives.

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