The HSP World Podcast Ep. 9: Highly Sensitive People and Feeling Misunderstood


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Thomas: Hi, and welcome to the HSP World Podcast. With each episode, we invite a guest with the HSP trait to have a conversation about a burning HSP-related question that they have. We are not coaches or therapists. We are HSPs holding space with you and I’m one of your hosts, Thomas. Your other hosts are

Robyn: Robyn

Rayne: and Rayne

Robyn: So welcome back everybody to another episode. With us today is Connie. Hi Connie. 

Connie: Hi.

Robyn: Thanks for joining us.

Connie: Yeah, thanks for having me.

Robyn: I’m wondering if you can start us off by mentioning a little bit, some background. How did you come to find out about the HSP Trait?

Connie: Yeah, good question. I’ve always felt things very strongly, um, positive negatives, like just any emotion. I always have felt different than other people. Um, growing up, I was always trying to figure out like how to fix myself and what’s wrong with me? You know, living in a world where I feel like my sensitivity wasn’t understood.

I was taken to a lot of therapists and everything. And like, I just, it like caused me a lot of anxiety, like feeling like something was wrong with me instead of recognizing that I’m highly sensitive. 

I don’t know exactly what made me know like, ‘Oh, I’m high sensitive’, but I think maybe somebody mentioned, you know, something about being a highly sensitive person and that it’s actually a real thing, and that there’s books out there. And I somehow got ahold of the book, The Highly Sensitive Person, and I read it and I was. I mean, yeah. I was like, wow, this explains everything. So, you know, I don’t know specifically, but I, I guess I, I somehow heard the term and kind of researched a little and everything kind of made sense and I related to it.

Rayne: How long ago was that Connie?

Connie: Um, so I would say it was about two years ago that I really understood being Highly Sensitive. I started on my healing journey, maybe, I don’t know, like seven years ago, where I’ve been doing a lot of healing work and everything, but specifically understanding the Highly Sensitive person was about two years ago.

More specifically within the past year, I’ve been really, understanding it deeper. Um, and understanding like what it means, and what my needs are and how to live life honoring who I am. So probably, I would say specifically the most within the past year.

Robyn: Yeah. Thanks for sharing. And it’s interesting, you know, because it’s, um, it it’s one label. It’s one title, but, uh, it really can resonate quite deeply. So sometimes it does take a year or two to properly, or even more, to digest the information and to think, ‘Okay, how does this really affect me? And what does this look like in my life?’

Connie: Definitely.

Robyn: It’s one step on a larger journey. You could say. Cool.

Thomas: And to know that others are on the same journey. That’s wonderful too.

Connie: Yeah. So to finally understand like why I am the way I am, why I have the reactions that I have, why, you know, not honoring that has, I’ve been living overwhelmed for so long. And that, that, that it makes sense. I’m not crazy.

Robyn: So, Connie, I think you had a question for us today.

Connie: Yes I did have a question. Um, I would love to know what helps other highly  sensitive people, you know, feel good and empowered in a world, where at least for me, wherever I go, I meet the opposite of Highly Sensitive people. People who don’t understand, even just being authentic.

Like I, it’s very important for me to be authentic and to be who I am and when I am myself in this world where highly sensitivity, isn’t understood. It’s like people don’t understand. And I’m wondering if you’d like to have any tips or, you know, what helps other highly sensitive people navigate that and stay in their own peace and happiness and security regardless if other people get it or don’t get it.

Like even though other people are so different than that.

Robyn: Okay. So it’s a little bit about how to deal with being in the minority, because typically we estimate HSPs are 15 to 20% the population. It’s partly that. And it’s partly, how do you deal with that other 80% not always understanding?

Connie: Exactly.

Robyn: Yeah, that’s a, that’s a big one.

Connie: Yeah, I encounter it a lot. I remember just from yesterday, this week, I’ve had many situations like that. So definitely something that I would love to hear more about.

Rayne: So are we talking in, um, just, you know, you’re out and about doing your errands and you come across, you know, you notice that, you feel like people are misunderstanding you, Connie, is that sort of…?

Connie: Um, so not so much that, but like just for example, I’m a mom of four kids and one of my kids, he’s very sensitive to the mask because he’s very highly sensitive and he’s young. And when I was talking to my doctor about that, his doctor about that, the doctor never even heard of the term Highly Sensitive and was telling me, ‘Oh, you know, maybe I could take him to a therapist. Maybe they could evaluate him.’

And that, like, that’s very frustrating to me because he doesn’t need an evaluation. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just Highly Sensitive. And my doctor, his doctor didn’t even understand what that means.

So, or, you know, with my kids, teachers, or I don’t know, just things like that.

You know, when I go to the doctor and I I’m explaining an emotion, or they, they just asked me last week, I went to the doctor, you know, do you ever feel anxiety as part of their questionnaire. And I was like, ‘Yeah, all the time. Um, life is hard. Sometimes life is good,’ and they’re like, ‘Yeah, but it’s probably just Corona.’

I was like, ‘No, not Corona, just because I’m human.’ And you know, and she, she was, she didn’t. It was like, she looked at me like I fell off the moon, like, what do you mean? Like you have anxiety, like why she was like trying to blame it on Corona. And I was just being authentic and real and honest, like it’s and I’m okay with the fact that I have anxiety, I think it’s, you know, a very normal that’s super being highly sensitive.

I mean, it was okay. I’m okay. But it was just like, yeah, like situations like that. It’s just frustrating sometimes. Like just being yourself and totally not being understood with what you’re just being human, just being honest about sensitive things, you know?

Robyn: Yeah, I would, uh, yeah, I would add to that, um, people, um, discrediting as well, or, consciously or not saying, yeah, people just not believing, um, that the trait is real.

So, um, I remember when I first started talking about it, even to people close to me, one reaction I got was, are you sure you’re not just making an excuse? There’s that one. Um, that’s another one, like when I was talking about, you know, feeling overwhelmed in certain situations and someone saying, are you sure you’re not just making an excuse? Yeah and people just saying, I don’t think this is, I don’t think this is a real thing. And I mean, scepticism is fine, that’s that’s okay.

Especially from a conceptual research point of view, a lot of the research, you know, still needs to be developed. I understand that. Um, but when you’re talking about someone’s experience, it’s it’s while giving them the benefit of the doubt to say, ‘Okay, at least at least what you’re describing is true to you. Let’s start from there.’, You know? We can talk about.

So I mean, where to start with this, it is a huge concept. Right. And, um,

Rayne:  I was just, I was kind of, um, I guess what I’m kind of wondering is, is, um, you know, why it would bother us, right? Like, are we looking for validation? You know what I mean? Is that the important, like, is that important to us, you know? Or does it matter if it’s validated or understood if it’s not somebody we care about or, you know, that we need to deal with on a regular basis?

That was just sort of something that kind of popped up in my brain.

Robyn:  That’s a great way to get into, find a way into the discussion. I think I can think of at least a few reasons. Yeah. One would be wanting to feel validated, um, wanting to feel understood. I think there is a human need to feel that other people, um, can understand your experience somewhat, even if they don’t share it.

Which maybe is touching more on a need for belonging, you know, feeling, feeling that you do belong, feeling that you’re not always an outsider. That’s a very deep, well established human need, I would say. Um, and sometimes it’s a matter of just frustration, right? Sometimes not being believed or understood may block you from getting the thing that you need or may stifle certain relationships.

Yeah, so that would be, those are the couple of reasons that I could think of why it might be.

Connie: For me, it’s for me, I think years ago it was validation. Now I’m really learning to give the validation to myself. Um, and, uh, but it’s just what frustrates…

It’s not even, it’s not so much looking for validation for me, it’s more just like, yeah, I guess, a sense of belonging or connection. Like I love people and I would love to connect with people, but it’s the more understanding I become of who I am and my sensitivity, it’s like the less, the less people I realize there are to connect with, because I want to connect with people who get me, not so much the validation, just because that’s what feels good to me. And the type of connection that I look for, where I could be authentic and where we get each other.

And it’s just, I don’t know. I don’t know, like the right way to describe it. What I’m trying to say. It’s just like, yeah, it’s kind of just frustrating that like, just being not understood or having to constantly explain what it is I’m saying, and you know how I feel like I’m speaking a different language kind of.

I feel like, I feel like I’m speaking a different language. It kind of reminds me of like, yeah, like if I went to a different country and spoke a different language, it’s not like so much of the validation. It’s just annoying. Like you’re speaking a different language, you’re having a conversation with these people or with, you know, almost most people I encounter, and you’re speaking, hopefully totally languages and looking at it completely differently.

So it’s just annoying.

Thomas: Yeah. I like the way you say that. “It’s just annoying!”

Connie: Yeah.

Robyn: It’s a level of fluency and comfort that you never quite get to. Yeah.

Thomas: There’s an… There’s an aspect of here about being vulnerable, right? Because we know that that the power of being vulnerable, other power of vulnerability is, is that it fosters connection. Right? And that’s what we hope for when we, when we, you know, tell someone, uh, of something that, something about us, something that’s core to us.

And, um, and so there’s that aspect of, of, you know, here I was, I’m trying to be vulnerable and being vulnerable is really hard. It’s really hard to be vulnerable, but being vulnerable is also authentic. And, um, I think what I find is that sometimes people don’t know how to receive vulnerability.

We are so, um… what’s the word I’m looking for… like acculturated or, or we are, our pattern is to sort of speak at, at, you know, arms length.

It’s like, okay, I’m just gonna, I’m not gonna go deep. And, and I know for me, I, like that’s the thing I want to do. I want to go deep right away. And so it can be frustrating, especially with people you don’t know as well, that they don’t want to match you there.

But, you know, that’s their thing, right? That’s part of what I know, what, what I understand is is that, that people don’t necessarily want to meet me and match me where I am.

Rayne: And sometimes they can’t, you know, that that’s something I’ve, you know, been learning is that it’s, it may not be that, um, they don’t want to it’s that they, they don’t know how.

Thomas: They don’t have the tools.

Rayne:  Yeah, they, they don’t have the tools or they, or they don’t think deeply or, and feel, you know, like, um, you know, our nervous system is highly tuned – we, we feel deeply and, you know, that’s just the way it is. And, and some people, don’t, you know?

Connie: For me that’s exactly what’s frustrating for me that I recognize that they’re not trying to be malicious. They’re not being rude. They just can’t. They just don’t understand. It’s a language that they don’t speak. And I accept that. And that’s where, like, not like I have hard feelings or I’mangry, or even at a place where I don’t necessarily get hurt by it.

It’s just like disappointing a lot. It’s hard that, you know, I want to be able to just, I wish that high sensitives, you know, connect with people who, who do have the capacity to be that way. And I just feel like, yeah.

Robyn: So something I’m thinking about because yeah, some people, a lot of people don’t have the capacity, or it’s just not, it’s not a mode that they spend a lot of time in, you know, picking up on information sensitively and, um, you know, going, going deep with things like that.

But a lot of people can, there are 15 to 20% of people who are Highly Sensitive and even within, you know, it is on a spectrum, it’s not like you’re High Sensitive or you’re insensitive. It’s a spectrum of sensitivity.

People who identify as HSPs are typically in the top 15 to 20% of the population, but right under that, there’s a whole chunk of the population that may not identify as HSPs, but have a pretty well developed sense of sensitivity, enough that they know what it is. They may not feel things as deeply as you do.

They may not go as far in their associations as you do, but they can kind of imagine. Right? So, I mean, these people are your best allies. People who are like highly sensitive and fairly sensitive people who have made their peace with it. I’m not… HSPs are not always the best allies of other HSPs if they’re not comfortable with it.

But anyone I think who is um, comfortable with sensitivity, whether or not they’re an HSP, um, these are the people that you can connect with in the way that you want to.

And I think the more that I, for myself, at least, the more that I focus my energy on seeking these people out, it really created like a, like a buffer or a foundation, right?

A foundation that buffered me against the fact that, all right, a lot of people don’t get it. It makes it easier to take. Right? Because then you kind of realize, all right, I don’t need everyone to get me. I don’t need everyone to like me. Um, I don’t need everyone to understand me. I don’t really understand their reality. That’s okay. That’s fine. Right?

And it’s, it’s mind boggling and sometimes it’s scary when I think, okay, there’s people out there that I really don’t understand, and it’s not just about sensitivity. There’s many things that I really just don’t understand how those people live their lives, right?

But if you, if you step back from that for a second, you know, there, I know there are, there are people that have no issue and even embrace or appreciate, me being highly sensitive. I could talk to them about it and yeah, no, no issue there.

And even it could be, I can get a positive reaction and that kind of bolsters me to then go out in the world and say, ‘Okay, people don’t get it. They don’t get it. I know some people do. I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only one. I know I’m not crazy.’

And when it matters, I seek the counsel of people who get this. And the rest of the time,  Oh, well. Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised, sometimes I’m not. And that’s it, but it’s, it’s a good base to have.

And I think, um, the other thing that helps too is, you know, we were saying that some people may not have the capacity or even the understanding of what this trait is.

I’ve kind of made it like a secret mission or maybe even a game of mine to just start throwing it out there. Kind of quietly in different ways. I don’t always use the word sensitivity or HSP. I don’t always give the whole big spiel about this is what high sensitivity is that 15% of people…

I don’t always go there sometimes. I don’t even use the word sensitivity sometimes I’ll pick traits of sensitivity. So for example, I had a colleague who was talking about her son, who, from the description, I was like, okay, that sounds like an HSP. Um, and she was saying he was struggling a bit at work. And I said, yeah, it sounds like he’s a very highly conscientious person. He’s a super conscientious employee. And he goes the extra mile, you know?

Um, Or sometimes people talk about being very affected by movies or music and say someone who’s very aesthetically sensitive, you know, or who gets really moved deeply by the arts. I think sometimes focusing on that aspect, if it’s relevant to the conversation, people may be more receptive to it, then the word sensitive, which is a very highly charged one.

So sometimes that gives an entry point to start discussing these things and then you kind of broaden it and it makes it a little bit easier for people to understand. You know, that’s, that’s a couple of strategies that I’ve tried and it doesn’t always work. There have been a couple moments where I mentioned it and people were like, okay, other, you know, you can just see, so then I was like, ‘Alright, I’m gonna, I’m gonna leave that,’ and step back and not push too hard.

And then there’s other times where people were like, ‘Oh, that’s really interesting though. I think I know other people like that. Huh. Okay.’

Rayne: Yeah. I agree with Robyn about, um… You know the one thing that I noticed Connie is that, um, while, while I get what you’re saying and I, I really do. I understand what you mean when you say, you know, it’s frustrating because so many don’t, I guess that just makes me appreciate it all the more, um, the relationships I have with HSPs, because they’re, they do get it, you know? And, and it’s very affirming and, and like, Robyn, I feel the same way.

I mean, um, you know, it, it, when I go to my doctor and my doctor doesn’t know anything about the HSP Trait, you know, I, I say, well, you know, you need to look it up because it’s important. It affects, you know, any medications you might want to prescribe to me, I don’t need big dosages, like, you know, like a non-HSP.

So, you know, that impacts me. And I just say it, matter of fact, you know, that, that basically, like I’m not asking for confirmation or anything else from them. It’s um, you know, this is the way it is for me. And, uh, and this, this is, this is what I require basically, you know? 

I guess I’m a little bit different from Robyn in that way as if, if I hear somebody talking and it sounds like they’re describing, um, an HSP. I come right out with it and say, you know, you know, “They may have the HSP Trait and it’d be really good to, you know, good to know a little bit more about it,” and I’ll start explaining what it is and all the rest of it.

And it’s, you know, it’s and explain it’s a Trait. It’s not a disorder or anything, you know, the nervous systems are just highly developed. You pick up on a lot. So, you know, there’s a lot of stimuli and, uh, external things that, you know, that they need to deal with and process and know how to manage, you know?

But it really does. It really makes me appreciate, the, the friendships and the relationships that I have with other HSPs because, you know, I feel like I can and, um, you know, you can, you can go deep and they get it. Yeah. You know, and that’s, that’s a beautiful, you know, that’s a beautiful thing and it’s all the more beautiful and all the more to be thankful for. Because it isn’t commonplace.

Connie: So for, yeah. Thank you. I love everything you guys all said. Um, so for me, the friendships that I have with highly sensitive people are beautiful and amazing, and I love my friendships with them, but it’s very, very, very few and far between, and I, in a way, um, I appreciate it so much, but in a way, it also, the more I understand my sensitivity and the more I connect with my friends, you know, very few friends that get it, the more distance I feel from the outside world of people who are not the, the less connected I feel, the more I, so for me, it’s like, I appreciate it.

I’m learning to appreciate it about myself. Appreciate it about my friends, but, maybe I just haven’t yet in my life met so many Highly Sensitive people that, you know, I can connect in a deep way with yet? So maybe that’s why I’m feeling more, I guess I’m frustrated because I think I’m a very outgoing, social person who, you know, likes connecting with a lot of people, but it’s not worth it for me to connect deeply with people who don’t understand or who I can’t connect with deeply.

And I think before understanding it, I used to just try and put myself out there and constantly try to get people to get it. And now I’m in acceptance where it’s okay. They just don’t and I don’t understand them and they don’t understand me there, you know?

Yeah. We can connect superficially. We can laugh about things, of course, but I want that deep connection and I don’t, I don’t find, I haven’t met a lot of Highly Sensitive people. So for me, it’s like, I guess that’s why, you know, I, I don’t know. Maybe I just have to, like…

Robyn: Yeah, I think that’s, that’s part of the journey, right? That’s part of the self development aspect of this is. I think the more you integrate it into your own life, the more you recognize how it operates for you, the more comfortable you become with it too, the more you accept it. Um, then that will kind of radiate outwards.

You’ll start meeting more people who also accept it in themselves, who can, uh, who aren’t afraid to talk about it or, or maybe, you know, another thing that’s helped too. It’s not always people who, um, are highly sensitive, but maybe they have a highly sensitive partner or child. Um, often those people are really good at understanding too, because they may not have it in themselves, but they’ve seen it in someone really close to them and they have deep respect and care for that.

You know, not everyone, but I’ve seen it happen quite a bit. Could just be the, I dunno, sometimes the, the jobs that we have or the activities that we do may bring us into more or less contact with Highly Sensitive people. So that could be something to keep in mind as well. I don’t know if there are things that you could, um, areas or circles that you could explore that we might have, you know, like anything that’s artistic often has a lot of highly sensitive people in there. Book clubs and things like that, you know, tend to resonate more.

Thomas: I know for me, uh, what’s helped my healing journey is to realize that there’s so many aspects of, of being sensitive that are empowering. As opposed to whatever the opposite is, you know, debilitating or whatever. So part of what I’ve done for me is to sorta to rewrite my internal story of what the Trait is for me.

And to think of many aspects of, of being HSP as being like a superpower. And so when I interact with people, even if I’m not, you know, talking directly about the Trait, about being HSP, I can still speak from an empowered position. And that’s helped me quite a bit in, in dealing with, uh, with others.

Connie: So, what would an example of that look like if you feel empowered and let’s say somebody is putting it down or not understanding, or, you know, like totally not relating, like what would an empowered reaction or way of communicating look like?

Thomas: You know, I suppose for me, it comes mostly from the creative work that I do. And… that’s such a good question. How do I react in those situations?

Rayne: You know what Thomas? What about that, um, when you were doing social dancing and you had that introvert pin.

Thomas: Oh, right, right, right. Yes.

Thomas: So I was looking for, uh, a symbol or something that I could wear when I was going social social dancing. And, um, I there’s, no, I haven’t found a pin yet that says sensitive, but there is a pin that says introvert, so it’s a little lapel pin on it. So I was wearing that and, the reactions that I got were pretty fascinating.

Yeah. Thank you for reminding me about that Rayne.

Some people, some of my, my partners would just look at me like, you know, they’d give me the eyes, like, ‘What’s that about?’ And then I had other people, particularly men, you know, look and say, ‘What, what does that say?’ And I’d say, ‘It says introvert.’ And they say like, ‘Why in the world would you wear that?’

Right? But also because we were, you know, this was also a dance class, so we were changing partners all the time. Um, I also had times when, when a partner would look and, and smile and sort of say, ‘Oh, that’s great.’ You know, ‘I’m glad that you are, um, are showing that.’ You know?

I don’t know if this is answering your question, Connie, but, um, it felt good to see certain people light up. And for those other people that said like, ‘Why would you want to wear that?’ It’s like, okay, you know, whatever. This is me, this is who I stand for, you know, I’m standing for myself. And, uh, and it, it, I felt good doing it. I felt good wearing that lapel pin.

Connie: Yeah, I think, I think, um, I resonate with, and it’s true. Like what you were saying, how the more you feel empowered and the more you, the more I learn, you know, I’m just still new at this, but the more that I learn to honor who I am, appreciate who I am, accept who I am, and feel good about who I am, the more I’ll attract people like that.

And the less, the more I’ll be able to be myself without it being so frustrating that other people don’t get it because I get it. And I guess I’m still learning to get it myself. So maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me still.

Rayne: That’s okay. It’s it’s um, you know, um, I know for me, I was fairly shocked to learn about it. To learn that it’s a real thing and then learn, you know, and, and I’m still learning, you know how to navigate it. It’s not a, it’s not a, um, you know, ‘Oh, you have blue eyes’, you know, kind of thing.

Connie: Yeah, because, um, you guys mentioned that, you know, um, maybe you’ll meet people who have a child who has high sensitivity and, you know, they respond well to, in my experience, and I hope this changes., the people in my life who have a highly sensitive child or have a highly sensitive spouse, they don’t understand.

And they put it down. And I’m constantly, I feel encounter people who, um, I mean, that’s my family and, you know, I don’t, it’s just the way, the reaction that I get towards it, like, I don’t see people really aware of the highly sensitive trait and appreciate it because they have a spouse or child or friend like that.

I somehow feel like, besides for me and my friends and like talking to you guys on this podcast and searching out people who get it in the world, I find that the trait being put down or, you know, I’m not, you know, or not taken care of properly, not nurtured properly. Um, I would love to attract the opposite.

I just haven’t really yet. So, I mean, if you guys have tips on how to, I mean, I know you said that, you know, joining some art, you know, artistic type of things, maybe, maybe I have to like, yeah, like, try to see how to attract people who do feel like it’s a beautiful trait, because I don’t experience that so much in my life.

Rayne: Yeah, absolutely. 

Robyn: That’s part of it too, right? It’s the struggle. It’s, it’s an ongoing thing and it does take time and sometimes we’ll be in that phase of, ahhh, ‘I’m trying to understand and appreciate it and honor it.’ And sometimes you sit with it for awhile and just keep exploring different options and eventually, eventually move on to the next phase.

But, um, yeah, so don’t, don’t give up, keep going. Keep going and, um, keep going and keep, yeah, just keep talking.

I mean, I remember this was like multiple years into my knowing about HSPs and I had already like started a Meetup group. And then I just ended up in a work situation that, because of the commute that I was doing, um, and a little bit, the schedule that I had, was really not, um, very, uh, wasn’t appealing to that, that, that side, right?

It wasn’t, um, I mean, most people struggle with commutes, but if you’re highly sensitive, you know, you’ve got 10 hours of highway driving every week. It was quite a bit, and it was really something that I’m struggling to deal with.

And, um, I found myself, uh, turning it against myself and saying like, ‘Oh, if  if I were, if I were less sensitive, this would be so much easier to take, it wouldn’t get to me as much. What’s the point of being, you know, responsive to to beautiful things when all you see is an ugly highway and an ugly work building every day?’ You know, who cares.

And I remember bringing this to the group of highly sensitive people and their response was simply like, ‘Are you okay? It sounds like you’re, you must be very stressed. You must, you must be going through something difficult.’

You know, it wasn’t dismissive, they weren’t saying like, are you making it up? I think if you were, you’re feeling good about what you’re doing, um, then you may not, you may not turn it against yourself like that.

So it was kind of nice to have that reaction from them where they were like, ‘No, no, no, it’s not that, you know, you have to remove this part of yourself. This part of yourself is fine. We all feel it too. We hope you’ll get to a point of peace with it. You know, and clearly there are things that are going on right now that are not allowing you to do be at peace, but we hope you’ll get there.’

Right? So it’s kinda. It was nice in a way. It kind of brought me back to that perspective of, ‘Oh, okay, yeah. It’s not, it’s not that there’s a problem with the sensitivity. It’s just, I’m in a reality and a context right now that’s not allowing me to embrace it.’

Connie: Yeah, and I guess it just takes time to get to that perspective in a way that you don’t just know it rationally, but you actually feel it in your body because it’s the opposite.

Like that message, like those voices, ‘Oh, I wish it wouldn’t be that way.’ Like I know for me, it’s kind of for years and years and years and years, not only did I feel that way, but everyone around me told me that.

So even though I’m learning, I guess intellectually all these things when I hear all these things and that’s beautiful. Yeah. I guess it’s nice to hear. Like it just takes time and just to continue and, you know, it gets easier, because yeah, I do feel like right now, at least, the… it’s more work I have to do on myself as opposed to, you know, getting that reassurance from anyone outside of me.

But maybe once I have it more inside of me, that’s when I’ll attract it more. So who knows?

Rayne: Yeah, I think it’s really important to, you know, have compassion and be kind to yourself, you know, in this, because you know, having the Trait and only 15 to 20% of the population have it, so the majority of the time we’re dealing with people that do not have the trait. They don’t understand.

They can’t understand unless they actually have it, really. Um, you know, unless like Robyn says, you know, you’re dealing with a non-HSP who, who, who is pretty aware, um, and, and understands and, you know, has sensitivities themselves. Um, so I think it’s all the more important to be patient and have compassion for yourself and say kind things to yourself and support, um, you know, support yourself, support your Trait, you know?

Connie: Yeah.

Thomas: Well Connie I wanted to, um, Connie, I want to thank you for today’s conversation. And I’m curious how you feel about the conversation, where there’s some points that resonated with you.

Connie: Um, yes. I mean, all of them resonated with me. I really appreciate hearing how High Sensitivity is a trait to be, you know, grateful for and to to find how it can empower me instead of something that, you know, I wish I didn’t have.

I think that that is something that I think a lot, like it’s the norm, like, like I’m jealous sometimes with people who are not highly sensitive because I feel like it just seems like life would be so much easier.

So I think that maybe that’s where I’m at. Like, I know at the beginning I said, it’s so annoying. I think that maybe, you know, whatever I see outside of me is usually what, how I feel about myself. I think that I need to explore more like how it could be empowering to be an HSP instead of feeling like it’s so hard. And like, I wish I wasn’t. You know?

Thomas: Yeah. All right. Well, Connie, thank you for joining us.

Connie: Thanks for having me.

Rayne: Yeah, I really want to thank you, Connie, because, um, I think you brought up some really relevant points that, you know, a lot of HSPs, you know, I liken it to a phase, you know, it’s a phase that I know I went through, um, when I was, you know, when I discovered I had the HSP Trait, so I really appreciate you bringing it up and having the courage to bring it up. And I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you.

Connie: Yeah, I did too. Thank you so much.

Robyn: So thanks everybody. And thank you to our listeners. So please join us for our next episode where we’ll be having another interesting HSP conversation.

And to any highly sensitive listeners who have a burning HSP-related question, big or small, we invite you to ask it on the HSP world podcast. Just email


Pic credit

Music credit: Intro and Outro music from the YouTube Music Library. Song is Clover 3.


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